Who copies who the most?

I tend to get into little tiffs with people online. Mainly to attempt to change people's minds to my correct way of thinking. This month's saga is with a european etsy seller who makes handmade shoes. They are nice and prior to the incident I might have respected her as a colleague.

The incident being her posting a photo of a shoe that was similar but no where near identical to a shoe she makes and sells. She posts it on FB with a caption saying xyz brand copied me what should I do? I of course had to point out both that the shoes had significant difference and also her design had been around before she started making it and it was a slight variation on a basic 100+ year old pattern/design. Other commenters saw my point but she didn't like hearing that so capped off the conversation that she was glad it was a brand she respected that copied her.

Grrr no one copied you.

I let it slide until I noticed her next 2 designs were similar to my last 2 pairs that I put up on FB. Now I am 100% sure she didn't copy both were a result of the current design zeitgeist.  So me being me I post images on her FB and was like omg look how similar these are and doesn't it suck when people accuse you of copying their crap. Ok I didn't say it like that. More adultlike.

This of course instantly changed her thinking to the more correct way which is just because two designs have similar design elements doesn't make them the same nor does it mean one copied the other. Funny what happens when the shoe is on the other foot.

But I notice this a lot with design authorship. People incorrectly assume that they invented something because they had never seen it before. Or they accuse others of copying but they themselves are inspired.

This lady claims to have been a designer for a large shoe company in Spain so you'd think she'd understand how the process works with predictives and runway reports and such like.

I'm a brat and I know it especially since I will be selling in the same category as her soon but hopefully I will have nipped her delusions in the butt.